It is with a heavy heart that I bid one and all, a farewell, for we fast approach the End of the World. That’s it, there’s no more, you’ve had your fill, it’s over…..
Saturday is last day on earth, claims evangelical Christian Harold Camping, 89, wrongly predicted ‘the rapture’ date once before in 1994 God’s chosen few ascend to heaven, sinners left behind to face earthquakes Atheists hold parties to celebrate ‘inevitable embarrassment’ Christian author calls Camping’s prediction ‘flat-out wrong’
I fear I won’t be one of the few, or many, depending on your position, lifted to the heavenly penthouse, to look down on all the fools. I’ve got way too many library cards for any one family to possess. It’s greed, that’s all, pure and simple, I want to borrow everything! A crime for which, now, I must pay the price.
I didn’t bother getting my pet set up for a first class seat either, I’m afraid. That’s my fault, not his. Again, I accept my earthbound punishment.
I don’t feel envy, I wish you all well.
So, now, once you’ve all left, the toys you spent all that time working for, I assume will be left behind, you won’t be needing ‘em. Do us a favour and leave the keys somewhere easy to find, would ya? Ta…. I’ve got my eyes on a nice BMW M3 up the road, a smashing power boat down the road, the RV centre on the highway looks like it’s a got a nice selection and there must be a very homely pad on the lake, that the owners, having moved on to a better place, would be only too pleased for a caring family to take over.
In actual fact…. I’m betting that I’ll be seeing most of you on the other side, of the weekend that is. So, get the beers in, or in the immortal words of the wonderful David Ford, a most criminally ignored songwriter….
This land is your land, this land is mine
So pull up a chair and watch the decline.
Mine’s a Blue Moon with a slice of orange, if you’re in these parts. I’ll provide the burgers and the BBQ…..
Urgent End of the World Update! An Irish Grandad has also found himself concocting a Last Post. He also has a wicked video of an old Rowan Atkinson sketch…..